Panel 1: In
the title panel of this Sunday-style colour comic, Barbara points off
panel while crying, "West of Bathurst!" She is being followed by five
people: a young white woman with long brown hair in a ponytail, a young
Asian man with black hair falling into his eyes, a young blond white
man with a goatee, a young white man with curly brown hair and a double
chin, and a pale young woman with long black hair. The curly-haired man
is pointing at Barbara and saying, "By Kari Maaren."
Panel 2: Barbara
is leading this little group of people on a tour of the University of
Toronto campus. They are passing the physics building, which is set far
back from the street beyond several strips of lawn.
Barbara:
On your right is the physics building, which contains many adequately
funded grad students. There goes one now. Note the well-fed look and
lack of threadbare clothing.
Panel 3: They all gather in front of a maroon sculpture that looks a bit like an H with a slanting rectangle stuck through it.
Barbara: Engineering.
Most of the university's money ends up here, but since all engineers
are mad, they generally paint it purple and then burn it. They drink
the ashes in their beer.
Panel 4:
Barbara leads the group past 7 King's College Circle, the university
building that holds the medical science library and used to hold the
English department. The curly-haired man is rolling his eyes.
Barbara:
This was once the English department: i.e., the seventh circle of Hell.
Now it just houses the minor demons, who buy their doughnuts from med
students.
Panel 5: Barbara and the students are now on Bloor Street, near the classics department, which is in the same building as a Club Monaco.
Barbara:
The classics department can be entered through a magical portal in Club
Monaco. I won't tell you exactly where it is, since it only works if
you're not aware of its presence.
Panel 6: Barbara and the others stand in front of the Davies College gates.
Barbara:
We now return to Davies College, built by a lunatic who didn't know
what a chair was. There will be a quiz in half an hour. Thank you.
Panel 7: The woman with the ponytail stands beside Rahim, her eyes huge.
Woman: Can't...feel...my brain...
Rahim: Okay, who let Barbara lead the campus tour?
Alt-Text: Point of interest for non-U-of-T-ers: much of what Barbara says here is, in essence, correct.
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