|Saturday, March 10, 2007|
|Panel 1: In
the title panel of this colour comic, we see Barbara slumped at a
table, her head buried in her arms. A large pile of papers is on the
table in front of her, along with a red pen. To the left is what looks
like the title page of a student paper. We see part of the title: "ia
Woolf's to teh Lighthouse." The "teh" has been circled in red. An arrow
points to the word, followed by the words, still in red: "West!! Of!!
Bathurst!!!" and "by Kari Maarennnnnnnnn," with the multiple "n"s
trailing despairingly towards the edge of the page.|
Panel 2: Barbara and Marie sit together at the table. She points at the pile of papers. Marie's chin is resting on her fist.
Barbara: See this pile of essays. Observe it closely. No strings attached...no trickery of any kind. What follows, ladies and gentlemen, is genuine magic.
Panel 3: Barbara picks up two papers.
Barbara: This student argues that To the Lighthouse is concrete proof that Virginia Woolf suffered from obsessive-compulsive disorder. This one spells Byron's name "B-I-R-U-N" and asserts that he wrote--and I quote--"Mary Shelley's Frankenstein."
Panel 4: Marie cringes as Barbara picks up two more papers.
Barbara: This one has submitted a paper that contains only three paragraphs but is two thousand words too long. This one cites The Family Guy as a legitimate secondary source.
Panel 5: This one is wrong. This one has plagiarised. This one writes off topic. This one does not know what a comma is.
Barbara: Average mark if I follow the guidelines of our university's English Department: seventy-two.
Panel 7: Barbara gets up and tosses the papers over her shoulder as Marie picks up one of the papers and stares at it in bafflement.
Barbara: As I said: genuine magic.
Marie: It's almost like being at Hogwarts...
Alt-Text: If any of my current students are reading this, they should know that I am NOT referring to them (truly)...