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Saturday, March 10, 2007

West of Bathurst 112

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Saturday, March 10, 2007
Panel 1: In the title panel of this colour comic, we see Barbara slumped at a table, her head buried in her arms. A large pile of papers is on the table in front of her, along with a red pen. To the left is what looks like the title page of a student paper. We see part of the title: "ia Woolf's to teh Lighthouse." The "teh" has been circled in red. An arrow points to the word, followed by the words, still in red: "West!! Of!! Bathurst!!!" and "by Kari Maarennnnnnnnn," with the multiple "n"s trailing despairingly towards the edge of the page.

Panel 2: Barbara and Marie sit together at the table. She points at the pile of papers. Marie's chin is resting on her fist.

Barbara: See this pile of essays. Observe it closely. No strings trickery of any kind. What follows, ladies and gentlemen, is genuine magic.

Panel 3: Barbara picks up two papers.

Barbara: This student argues that To the Lighthouse is concrete proof that Virginia Woolf suffered from obsessive-compulsive disorder. This one spells Byron's name "B-I-R-U-N" and asserts that he wrote--and I quote--"Mary Shelley's Frankenstein."

Panel 4: Marie cringes as Barbara picks up two more papers.

Barbara: This one has submitted a paper that contains only three paragraphs but is two thousand words too long. This one cites The Family Guy as a legitimate secondary source.

Panel 5: This one is wrong. This one has plagiarised. This one writes off topic. This one does not know what a comma is.

Panel 6:

Barbara: Average mark if I follow the guidelines of our university's English Department: seventy-two.

Panel 7: Barbara gets up and tosses the papers over her shoulder as Marie picks up one of the papers and stares at it in bafflement.

Barbara: As I said: genuine magic.

Marie: It's almost like being at Hogwarts...

Alt-Text: If any of my current students are reading this, they should know that I am NOT referring to them (truly)...

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