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Saturday , April 18, 2009

West of Bathurst 497

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This comic is dedicated to anyone who has ever lived in Massey College or frequented its basement at all.

Saturday, April 18, 2009
Panel 1: In the title panel of this Sunday-style colour comic, a gigantic house centipede labelled "WEST OF BATHURST BY KARI MAAREN" crawls across the orange Davies College floor.

Panel 2: In the Davies College basement, Steve, who is just behind Marie and Jackie, looks at the floor.

Steve: Yaaargh!

Marie: What?

Panel 3: Steve points at a little dot on the floor.

Steve: A centipede! The first centipede of spring!

Marie and Jackie: Yaaargh!

Panel 4:

Steve: Kill it.

Marie: You kill it.

Steve: I'm not touching that thing.

Jackie: Oh God...oh God! It's crawling straight at me!

Panel 5:

Steve [hides his eyes]: Too. Many. Legs.

Marie [to Jackie]: Go left!

Jackie [tries to escape the centipede]: It's following me! It knows what I'm thinking! It's evil!

Panel 6:

Steve: Wait...where'd it go? Where is it?

Marie: Uh.

Jackie [flails wildly]: Is it on me? GETITOFF GETITOFF GETITOFF!

Panel 7:

Marie [to Steve]: If you think this is fun, wait until the albino spiders show up in June.

Jackie: Set me on fire, please.

Alt-Text: If you think they're overreacting, I invite you to come to Toronto (or, well, various other places, but I KNOW these damn things are in Toronto) and meet a house centipede. There are bigger centipedes out there. I am not convinced that there are FASTER centipedes out there, or ones with longer legs. The Demon Wikipedia tells us that these little bastards can travel at up to 16 inches per second, and I do not doubt it. Truly, the only thing to do when you encounter a house centipede is to scream and run very quickly away.

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